Saturday, August 7, 2010

Transalation is not an Alibi

Sometimes I just wonder what Primary and Secondary Education is doing for kids nowadays. Their knowledge base as college entrants seem insufficient. And don't get me started with discipline, that will be a different blog post.

I mean, some students can really get so senseless with how they answer back simple questions.


Me: Bakit ang pangit 'ata ng labas nitong project niyo?

Female Student: Kasi po, hindi maganda...

Me: (taken aback) Okay. Do it again.


Me: Okay, can anyone define using their own words the term, "Health Education."

Class: (silent for almost 10 seconds)

Me: (snaps fingers) Come on. Just a try.

Male Student: (raises hand)

Me: Yes sir.

Male Student: (stands) Sir, it is educating about health.

Me: Galing. You want me to get a megaphone for you so you could repeat your sensible definition for the whole school to hear?


Me: Ija, the exam started thirty minutes ago. Bakit ngayon ka lang?

Masscomm student: Ay sir... Kasi late po ako, eh...

Me: (my eyebrows crossed) Yeah. I get the point, pero bakit ka late?

Masscomm student: Nahuli po kasi akong umakyat sa room sir, eh.

Me: (my forehead crumpled) Okay. I'll stop interrogating. I'll save your neurons. You may need their scanty amount for your exam.

Masscomm student: (smiles as she gets the test. She seemingly didn't understand that I just insulted her.)


wind_psycho: kala mo naman ang sensible na teacher....

Saturday, July 31, 2010

A Teacher's Salivary Anecdote

I guess not every academician in this world is brave enough to face this simple, yet disturbing issue that front row students face and fear every session.

Getting accidentaly (or purposively) spit on by a teacher.

And I have been both a victim and a culprit of that. I liked sitting in front row as a young student because I like to absorb the best learning possible, but at times I get jumpy when I feel something moist and wet hitting my arms from time to time.

Although the saliva of a person with respiratory tract infections, unless inhaled from a 3 feet marker, has no immediate contagious effect when they variably hit one's skin, the thought and the sight of that frotty liquid on one's skin will always be disgusting to the eyes.

So, now that I am the one talking while standing on the platform, I realize that inevitability of the spitting process. Sometimes, when you talk too much and too fast, your salivary glands work in overdrive and create more spit than necessary.

Sometimes I can just swallow.

And in lesser times, let's just say, I provide my front row students with their second early morning shower for the day.

Am I conscious about it? Oo naman. My paranoia wouldn't allow my students labeling me as the "lean mean spit splattering machine" behind my back.


So, the solution.

"I'm sorry, especially for the people of the front row, kung minsan natalsik ang aking laway, huh? You can move elsewhere if you want..." I jokingly spoke in between my lecture, holding my hand over my mouth.

Everybody laughs.

"Sir, hindi naman tumatama, pero nakikita nga po namin, hahaha," one of the front-row notorious students kid.

Everybody laughs.

Good thing I'm immune to mortification.

I held my index finger out, "but mind you. My saliva has been coined by my college classmates as the, 'spit of wisdom.' All those who conversed with me before the quiz and got a shower of my saliva always passed our exams with me."

"Wow..." most said in chorus.

"Weh..." the others cried out.

"Aha, if you don't believe me, ask your previous batches," I retorted, " never was there a student in my front row class that failed and got kicked out from the college..."

"Woah..." now I got everybody going.


The next thing I know, everyone started rushing and fighting to class just to be in the first row of my lecture.


Thursday, April 1, 2010

Girls Should be Like Chun Li

Everyone who spent their childhood years in the 90’s would definitely know who Chun Li is. The double hair bunned Chinese girl who floats in an inverted fashion doing spinning kicks while on a split, and throwing fast lighting kicks. Ahhh, I miss those Street Fighter days.

So, why should girls be like Chun Li?

Through many centuries, feminist movements have risen and claimed that women should be dealt with equally like men. They continually desire to relinquish roles that were previously intended for males. And they slowly but surely succeeded in making the female gender an important contributor in the society.

Now, we see the rise of dual career families, and women in executive positions in their respective organizations. One good example is our president herself.

But still, I would like to emphasize on the word, “EQUAL.”

One day, I was lazily seated in LRT going home from a rigorous work-out from the gym, almost dozing off. When the train halted in UN Avenue station, three women probably in their late adolescence swooned inside. Realizing that there were no more seats available, they stood and held on the railings.

In the middle of my dozing-off-while-my-head-is-buried-in-my-bag session in the middle of the train ride, I suddenly heard a sarcastic female voice.

Ano ba ‘yan, walang gentleman!”

“‘Di bale girl, mamaya may mag-o-offer ng seat niya…”

I looked up and saw the girls standing in front of me, looking at me funny.

I responded them with a quizzical stare. As far as I remember, I am in the male area of the LRT. Secondly, I came in the train first so I deserved my seated spot. And thirdly, I am very tired. My legs are sore from the leg curls I was doing prior to that ride.

One of them gave me an irap.

“What the…” I grumpily whispered to myself. I stood up, movements dragging and told them, “sige, upo na po kayo dito…” I made sure they feel discomfort in my voice as I gave up my seat.

“Thank you, ha…” one of them replied, with a tinamo-bibigay-ka-rin-pala tone in her voice.

In my mind, I was really irritated about how some girls, even in their prime healthy ages, demand special attention from boys. You have to give up your seat for them. You have to make them go first in line. Heck, most of the time, the women are the ones in the rush hour crowd who push the hardest when going inside train coaches.

I know this post may make me unpopular but I have nothing against women. I love my soulmate and bestfriend, and she happens to be a woman. My mother is a woman. Someday, I’ll get married and bear a child through a woman.

If we really are serious about gender equality, then there should not be any special treatment on either sex. No special train areas for women. No special laws on women violence. No special jobs for males or females alone.

And I wish we stop using the “women are essentially part of a vulnerable sector in the society” crap. Vulnerability is all in the mind. Another crap they should stop using as an excuse to be treated well is, “well you boys don’t get pregnant, don’t have menses…” We all have difficult biological functioning to endure.

No one deserves special treatment. But everyone is entitled for considerations. Privileges should be given due to one’s circumstance, not due to one’s gender.

I wish girls could be like Chun Li. She does not mind fighting Ryu, Ken, Sagat, Zangief and M. Bison despite their being males. She does not ask for mercy everytime she gets hit with hadouken or shoryuken. She stands up and fights back. When she loses, she goes for another round. And when she wins, it never mattered if she was a girl.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Balintawak Station

I was walking at one side of Monumento circle at 10 o’clock that evening. I had two big bags of fish crackers with me, one bag wrapped on each arm. It was my share for the following day’s potluck with my colleagues.

I was tiresomely dragging my feet to the jeepney waiting shed when I heard a loud noise above me. I looked up and saw an LRT train taking the newly constructed tracks going to Balintawak.

I stared in awe. Finally, the MRT-LRT loop is open.

I looked at my watch and saw the date. March 25, 2010. Then I remembered. It was ten days past the supposed anniversary of me and my ex-flame.

When we were still together, we always took the north bound EDSA road going home a few months ago and saw the construction of the new train tracks for the said loop. We always talked in anticipation about when it would open and that we would try taking that route when it opens.

Towards the stormy later part of our relationship, I always asked myself, “Would Gerber and I see the finished loop together?”

Obviously, the answer was, NO.

Here I am, still alone not by choice, hugging on two huge bags of crackers, hoping those would comfort me enough to stop the tears welling up in my eyes from falling as the train faded from my sight.

It’s funny how a simple thing like a public utility mass vehicle is able to make me reminisce on my past unhappy relationship, and the many failed dating encounters that followed after the break-up.

I just graduated with a Master’s degree. I got an excellent teacher evaluation. I’ve got more things ahead of me.

Balintawak station is now finally open. So, why won’t I?

Friday, February 19, 2010

“I am so Embarrassment…” Sensei said.

Some of my famous words that earn me that irrefutable nonchalant nature in class.

“It’s 4:40 in my timepiece. Twenty minutes so be back at 4:60… You may break yourselves…”

Sino sa inyo ang puwedeng mahiraman ng USB na willing magka-virus?”

Ahh, akala ko kasi lahat ng tao nakaka-experience ng almoranas… Sorry, baka sa family lang namin ‘yon… Teka, did I just say I always have hemmorrhoids?! Embarrassment.”

“Oh my, we have an international schudent? Ano ba ‘yan? Bakit 'di niyo sinabi agad? Sorry, I haven’t read the dictionary last night. I am already… Nauubusan ng English…”

“Okay, you go inject yourselves.”

Wachamakol it? Wachamakoldat?

Bakit kayo nag-aayos ng gamit? Ang yayabang ninyong maglabas ng bag. Bakit? Did I dismiss you already? Porke ba Jansport ang mga bag niyo?!

“Sorry class, I can’t attend to you right now, I’m thesising.”

“Get one half sheet of fafer. Yes, fafer. With a capital fee.”

Ang hindi makasagot sa number one, pangit.”

Ang manghula ng edad ko, ibabagsak ko! I said stop! ANO’NG FORTY KA DIYAN?!”

Pengeng candy class. Hypoglycemic na ‘ko.”

Haha, hindi naman ako mahilig sa brown. Mukha na ‘kong troso.”

“Class, ano na nga ‘yung tagalog ng English?”

“I hope you learn your lesson Ms. Pasaway. Your confiscated Blackberry touchscreen may be retrieved next week. Ano ba’ng features nito, nang magamit? Joke.” (I actually toyed with it before I surrendered to the Dean).

“There is really no distinct color of semen. It might not be as white contrary to popular belief. Ahmmm, boys ‘di ba sa underwear, if we--- if you mast--- I mean, when you get ahmmm… wet dreams… ‘di ba it turns into a yellow stain…? (looks at the CCTV camera in the classroom) That didn’t sound right, did it? Next time don’t ask me questions like that Mr. Preoccupied, you’re getting me fired.”

Sa mata makikita ang clitoris… Este, I mean… Iris pala.”

“Excuse me. All my clothes are D & G. Divisoria and Greenhills.”

“Sorry class, puwedeng magkamali? Tao lang.”

“Class, you have to understand that spirituality doesn’t have to be about god alone. We talk about faith. We talk about values. It’s the belief that there is that transcending force that controls all things… It can be our God… It can be Allah… It can be the nature, the trees, the mountains… It can be stones… It can be money… It can be that buddha sculpture… It can be love… It can be fate…

It can be… ME.”


wind_psycho: TATAG!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Thesis Print Preview

This is just a tenth of what I have been writing for the past three months now.

And I’m not yet done.

Kaya bawas muna ng gym time (actually sa gym ako gumagawa ng thesis).

Bawas muna gimik.

Wala munang shopping. Mahal ang printing ng 300 pages. Binding pa.

Wala munang tulog.

Walang holiday.

Bawal magkasakit.

Kalimutan muna ang ibang pangarap.

At oo nga pala. Bawal muna ang love life. Flirt flirt lang muna. Nyahaha.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

A Different Kind of Discipline

Senseijery: Madaming bumagsak sa inyo sa major subject niyo! Ano ba’ng problema?! Paano kasi wala kayong ginawa kundi mag-facebook nang mag-facebook! Tanim kayo ng tanim ng mga virtual plants sa Farmville whatever ninyo instead of planting something in your minds.

Class: (quiet)

Senseijery: You should change your unnecessary habits! I have a new policy…

Class: (confused silence)

Senseijery: Kapag online ako sa Facebook, dapat lahat sa klaseng ‘to ay mag-offline within two minutes after I prompt you through the chat window!


Senseijery: Oo, seryoso ‘to. At kapag may nahuli ako na hindi nag-offline agad, I will add the points to your demerits!

(Demerits add up to their quiz items.)

Class: HUUUUUHHHH?! (More loudly this time)

Student 1: Pa’no po kung idle?

Senseijery: ‘Wag niyo kong lokohin. Nagfa-farmville lang kayo no’n.

Student 2: Eh, sir pa’no po kung sabado o kaya linggo?

Senseijery: (Thinks deeply) Saturday lang at Sunday morning puwede. Kasi Sunday night ang gawaan ng homework.

Student 3: Sirrrrr… ‘Wag naman…

Senseijery: Then show me better quiz results and I’ll lift this rule.

Student 4: Magfe-Friendster na lang ako ulit!

Senseijery: Sana may kumausap sa’yo d’on!

Class: (Bursts with laughter.)


It’ so cool to be a teacher! Nyahahahaha!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Break from Burdens


easily spoiled unless preserved well
taken in moderation
energizing but fattening
molds in a container
carbs, proteins and fats
heavenly but fatal

but you just gotta have some.

happy christmas.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

After a Week of Your Silence...

I guess we won’t be able to found out how LRT 1 and MRT would look like when the construction is finished.

I guess we won’t get to Wensha like we planned--- or that overnight stay in Baguio.

I guess I’ll be watching 2012 on my own. I definitely won’t reach that year with you.

I guess we won’t have an anniversary.

I guess you won’t be receiving this gift I bought for your birthday.

I guess I won’t be going to groceries and appliance stores with you.

I guess I won’t get to taste the food you proudly say that you cook so well.

I guess you’ve moved on way ahead of me.

I guess you’re still unemployed--- and have an ample amount of time to meet other men.

I guess we’ll never really have sex, at all.

I guess, for an indefinite time, my heart will skip a beat everytime I smell the scent of your perfume worn by other people.

I guess I wouldn’t be able to cuddle with you in the dark corners of the movie house.

I guess I won’t be secretly hiding our holding hands in between our laps when we ride the bus.

I guess we won’t be living together and that I won’t be your husband anymore.

I guess you aren’t the one--- well, I guess I’ve realized that long ago.

I’m SINGLE again. That’s the best way to describe my relationship status after you not texting me for a week.

Thank God I’m apathetic.

Anyway, Gerber, wherever you are, uhmm… I don’t know what else to say to you.

Darn it for loving you.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Compulson in the Sauna

I know exactly what some boys do in the sauna. The sad thing is they just let the juices of their hasty moments of glory anywhere they like. No one wants these secretions near anyone else’s body now that STD’s are going round and about. So I:

1. Alcoholize locker keys.

2. Choose shower cubicles proximate to the locker room because they are the least chosen ones by those who would want to do something prohibited in public.

3. Check the floors and the walls for any emitted secretions.

4. Use the free liquid soap to clean the shower lever, shower head and soap dispensers. You can never be sure what sticks on the hand of the one who last used it.

5. Leave my towel on the cubicle walls so as not to mess it up. You don’t want it catching anything that you would rub onto your body later. That means I walk to the sauna room in my boxers, which gets a few sets of eyes looking at me longer than necessary. I don’t mind. Those are ego points.

6. Cover open wounds (even healing and closed ones) with band aid. Most STD’s are blood borne including HIV.

7. Never touch handles. Open doors through their flaps.

8. Put soap in the hands before opening the sauna door. Just to be sure. This means that while I’m inside the sauna, my hands are bubbling with soap. Some people inside would shoot me perplexed looks while I continuously lather up my palms. If only they knew…

9. Never sit down or lean on to anything inside. You don’t know what people did inside before you came in.

10. Never wipe any part of my body, especially my face, with my hands.

11. Never accidentally drink water from the steam or the shower.

12. Run for dear life when I sense people around me doing IT. It’s easy to tell. It’s funny seeing people trying to hide their erections when they get caught by some clueless member.

Yes, I can get a little bit Obsessive Compulsive to a little bit Paranoid. But hey, like they say, it’s better to be safe, than sorry…