Saturday, July 31, 2010

A Teacher's Salivary Anecdote

I guess not every academician in this world is brave enough to face this simple, yet disturbing issue that front row students face and fear every session.

Getting accidentaly (or purposively) spit on by a teacher.

And I have been both a victim and a culprit of that. I liked sitting in front row as a young student because I like to absorb the best learning possible, but at times I get jumpy when I feel something moist and wet hitting my arms from time to time.

Although the saliva of a person with respiratory tract infections, unless inhaled from a 3 feet marker, has no immediate contagious effect when they variably hit one's skin, the thought and the sight of that frotty liquid on one's skin will always be disgusting to the eyes.

So, now that I am the one talking while standing on the platform, I realize that inevitability of the spitting process. Sometimes, when you talk too much and too fast, your salivary glands work in overdrive and create more spit than necessary.

Sometimes I can just swallow.

And in lesser times, let's just say, I provide my front row students with their second early morning shower for the day.

Am I conscious about it? Oo naman. My paranoia wouldn't allow my students labeling me as the "lean mean spit splattering machine" behind my back.


So, the solution.

"I'm sorry, especially for the people of the front row, kung minsan natalsik ang aking laway, huh? You can move elsewhere if you want..." I jokingly spoke in between my lecture, holding my hand over my mouth.

Everybody laughs.

"Sir, hindi naman tumatama, pero nakikita nga po namin, hahaha," one of the front-row notorious students kid.

Everybody laughs.

Good thing I'm immune to mortification.

I held my index finger out, "but mind you. My saliva has been coined by my college classmates as the, 'spit of wisdom.' All those who conversed with me before the quiz and got a shower of my saliva always passed our exams with me."

"Wow..." most said in chorus.

"Weh..." the others cried out.

"Aha, if you don't believe me, ask your previous batches," I retorted, " never was there a student in my front row class that failed and got kicked out from the college..."

"Woah..." now I got everybody going.


The next thing I know, everyone started rushing and fighting to class just to be in the first row of my lecture.